Personal safety is not just knowing how to prevent or minimize harm if you are attacked. It includes empowering yourself-through reading and other forms of self-education-to keep yourself safe at home, on a date, at work, on the Internet, and many other aspects of daily life. Awareness Safety, no matter where you are, requires you to be aware of your surroundings, and the people around you. Avoid situations and people that don't "feel" safe. Trust your senses and your instinct. If a situation feels unsafe, it probably is unsafe. If you are approached and feel threatened, escape is the best option. Do whatever you can to attract attention to your attacker. Run (or wheel) away. Make lots of noise. Some women have found that shouting "Fire!" is more effective than yelling "Help!" There is much debate over the question of whether you should try to fight off an attacker. Much depends on the attacker himself: what he wants from you and why he wants it (motive). If you are in an isolated area, with little hope of attracting help, you may be less likely to be seriously hurt if you offer no resistance. Some offenders become even more excited by a struggling victim. Sometimes a potential sexual assault can be avoided if you urinate or soil yourself. If the attacker just wants your purse, the safest thing would be to hand it over. The idea of sexual assault at the hands of a stranger is frightening, but less common than most women believe. However, it does happen. Below are examples of precautions you can take to help reduce the risk.
If you must leave an abusive relationship in a hurry, you may not be able to get such things together. But if you know you might have to get away to safety, try to have necessary items together ahead of time. Having a safety plan is a good idea. Decide where you can go to be safe and have an idea how to get there. Tell your plan to a trusted friend, and arrange some kind of signal with her that will let her know you are putting the plan into action.
| Health card |
Medications |
Social Insurance Card |
Hygiene products |
| Driver's license |
Eye glasses or contact lenses |
Credit cards and/or bank card |
Money |
Picture ID |
Night clothes/underwear |
Birth Certificate |
Jewelry or other valuables |
Immunization records |
Special photographs |
Treaty card (if applicable) |
A book or craft item |
Custody order (if applicable) |
Baby or child needs |
Chequebook and bank card |
Mortgage papers or rental agreement |
If you are the target of unsolicited, deliberate, and/or repeated comments, gestures, or unwanted physical contact of a sexual nature, or unnecessary touch, you are a victim of sexual harassment. Most situations of harassment occur where someone has power or authority over another and uses that power in an abusive way. People with power include teachers, administrators, counselors, employers and landlords. Sexual harassment is an offence under the Ontario Human Rights Code.
What to do If You Are Being Sexually Harassed:
The first step is to tell the perpetrator, very clearly and directly; that you
find his behavior offensive, and that it must stop.
If the behavior persists:
Seek advice from a counselor, or other advisor within your business or organization. Someone in the personnel/human resources department should be able to advise you on your options, or intervene on your behalf. Formal complaints must first be dealt with through a tribunal process within the organization. If the harassment continues, despite these efforts, you may wish to contact the Ontario Human Rights Commission. Click to Return to Top
Recieving Obscene Phone Calls:
Sometimes these are simply nuisance calls, annoying but not a really big deal.
However, these acts are manifestations of the need some men feel to humiliate,
control, and dominate women. These calls can be unsettling. If a woman has been
victimized in the past, she may feel her physical safety is in jeopardy.
Dealing With Obscene or Harassing Phone Calls:
It is an offence to make harassing phone calls. If someone is harassing you,
you may file a complaint with the police. However, there are things you can
do to help yourself:
Note:
Many women take a few minutes before pulling out to rummage through a purse,
fill out a cheque, etc. Save these tasks for later.
Not all women with disabilities drive. For women who rely on specialized transit such as accessible buses or taxis, or transit services for disabled people (HAGI in Thunder Bay), options are limited when a driver behaves inappropriately. If a driver of specialized transit makes you uncomfortable, harasses or abuses you, you can refuse to get onboard the vehicle or ask him to stop and let you off. Then, report the incident so that you-and other women-will feel safer in the future. These are only precautions to help keep you safe. You are not to blame if a stranger assaults you. Some of these precautions may seem extreme, but it's better to be overcautious than sorry.
Most women have experienced pressure from their date to have sex. If you don't want to have sex, but he forces it on you, it is sexual assault. Unwanted sex is assault even if it is your spouse, boyfriend or partner who forces himself on you. Assault is about violence, not sex or love. The values and roles of men and women in our society have twisted sexuality into a game of conquest: The man's role being domination and control, the woman's role being to protest and submit. No man is entitled to have sex. If a woman cannot communicate consent to sexual activity because she is intoxicated or under the influence of a drug, it must be assumed that she does not agree to have sex.
As a woman in a relationship that might involve sexual activity, you must:
Recognize the behavioral danger signs of men who may become abusive. Avoid men who are jealous, possessive, over-protective, or controlling. If he tells you what you should or should not wear, or tries to control whom you may spend time with, you are in a potentially dangerous relationship.
When he constantly sends you love letters or flowers, when it seems he's always around the corner waiting for you, and you want nothing to do with him…You may be a victim of stalking. Stalking can cause as much mental distress to the victim as it can physical harm. The individual actions of a stalker may be harmless and far from criminal. However stalking generally involves intent to instill fear, and/or to cause injury. The stalker's behavior usually worsens over time, so actions that may once have been bothersome may become extremely menacing-to the point of becoming a threat to the victim's life. The majority of stalking victims are pursued by someone they know- ex-boyfriends or former spouses or partners. Stalking is potentially a very serious situation. Seek help from friends, victim advocates, police and/or the justice system.
Precautions/actions that will help you to cope with stalking include:
You Will Want To:
Not all forms of stalking involve personal contact. Cyber Stalking uses the Internet, and other forms of electronic communication to commit identity theft, harass or threaten someone. Harassment can come via e-mail, in live chat rooms, and using the victim's code name or e-mail address, leaving inappropriate messages (junk mail or pornography) on message boards or guest books, and sending viruses. Communication via the Internet seems so safe because nicknames, passwords and codes give a sense of anonymity. The dangers, however, are very real.
If You Believe You Are Being Cyber Stalked, Help Yourself By:
Cyber safety is important, yet many women do not think to protect themselves
from on-line abuse.
There are several websites that deal with cyber abuse, where information and
support are available