Abuse comes in many forms, yet can be classified into two categories:
Involves acts ranging from inappropriate touch to forced intercourse, anal and/or oral sex.
Involves acts such as pushing, pinching, shaking, grabbing, biting, slapping, punching, kicking, burning, choking, and hitting with an object, or weapon. Abuse may be emotional or verbal, such as yelling, name-calling or insulting a person ("you're stupid", "hopeless", "should never have been born", and so on). It can be financial and involve theft, fraud, scams or use of a person's money for unauthorized purchases.
May lack |
May fear |
May believe |
May be perceived |
May be a target due to |
Self-esteem Communication skills Knowledge of her rights Knowledge of available services Sex education Accessible transportation Accessible (secure) telephone |
Being labeled "crazy" Loneliness Losing control over her own life Losing custody of her children Not being believed Losing medical supports Break-up of family unit |
Abuse is "normal" She must be passive and cooperative That abuse is an expression of love The abuse is her own fault |
Less intelligent Not credible Unfeeling Non-sexual A trouble maker A burden to her family/ caregiver Invisible to the public |
Inability to escape Over-medication Inability to defend herself physically and/or verbally |
If you have a loved one, a friend or client whom you believe may be a victim of abuse or violence, it is important that you know and can recognize evidence of abuse. These signs are not always as obvious as broken bones and bright bruises. You may only see abuse reflected in a victim's behavior and mood: that is, the effects of abuse. Few victims report abuse voluntarily (especially acts of abuse inflicted by someone close) so it may be up to you to figure out what is going on in her life.
"...there are many women who have permanent back, neck and joint injuries [caused by the abuse]; many have lost some vision and hearing from repeated eye and head injuries; and seizures are very common…There is some evidence that incest is linked to epilepsy as well. Sometimes the body responds almost immediately to being violated. Sometimes the impact builds for a while before the effects are obvious." **
**Meeting Our Needs: An Access Manual for Transition Houses, by Shirley Masuda and Jillian Ridington, Toronto, 1990
Recovery from abuse is a lengthy, ongoing process. A woman with a disability may require counseling tailored to her specific needs.
Remember, You are not responsible for the actions of your abuser… Women experience personality and behavior changes after abuse. You may be restless and unable to sleep, or sleep too much. Changes in appetite are common-you may find yourself eating compulsively, or losing interest in food. You may no longer feel you can trust your family or partner, or an entire group of people (e.g., men). A woman may experience severe withdrawal and/or depression that requires medical intervention or hospitalization. Few women can recover from abuse without help from someone. Counselors-whether they are social workers, psychologists or nurses-have the education and training necessary to help you deal with the abuse and your emotional reactions to it. Not every counselor has exactly the same training, and finding someone who is right for you is important. Ask your Victim Services worker to help you find a counselor whose expertise fits with your needs. At the end of this book you will find two removable charts, which you may pull out to post on a wall in your home, or some other place of your choosing, if you want to do so. The first is called the Power and Control Wheel. It illustrates how a man-or a woman-can use power to control and/or harm another person. In an abusive relationship, this shows the way things are. The other poster is called the Equality Wheel. It illustrates the way a relationship should work. The Domestic Abuse Intervention Project of Duluth, Minnesota, USA, developed both charts. The Wheels frequently are included as part of information packages given to women who come to emergency shelters from abusive relationships. They are part of the package given to women who seek shelter at Faye Peterson Transition House here in Thunder Bay.